Board Thread:Art, Stories and Songs/@comment-25588272-20150824154506

I probaly won't be doing this again, so enjoy.

.*The First walks up to Kevin, who was tucked in bed with his Freddy plush.*

Kevin: Can you read me a bedtime story before I go to bed?

First: ...Oh, Kevin. How can I say no to you?

.*The First sits down on the edge of the bed, and pulls out a book.*

First: You remember going back to Shakespearean times?

Kevin: Yeah.

First: Then you'll understand more than I did when I read this.

.*The First opens up the book, and begins reading.*

Twas a time not long past when there lived pigs in stature little and number three who of an age now both entitled and inspired to seek their fortunes did set out to do so thusly.

When they had traveled a distance, the pig numbered first spake saying, "Harken brethren, and heed this tempestuous realm! Should we tarry long separated from hearth and home, we will fare, I fear, not well!"

And so, being collectively agreed and individually impelled, the diminutive swine set about each to build for himself an abode. The pig numbered first did from straw construct his home. The pig numbered two did likewise, though rather not from straw but from sticks. Meanwhile, unique in his imaginings, pig numbered three did erect as his refuge, both stalwart and garish, a structure made of brick entirely.

In time, there happened along, as is frequently the scenario in classic tales of protagonist piglets or red-hooded child, a wolf. Carnivorous nature in full season, he called out to the straw-ensconced swine saying, "Pray thee, little pig, grant me entrance!"

Pig numbered first recalled with sage foreboding that it is the madman who trusts in the tameness of the belly-pinched wolf. His reply in earnest: "Nay, it shall not be! Not by whit nor whiskered jowl!"

To this most predictable response the wolf replied immediately, "Then steel thyself, little pig, post haste shall I endeavor employing means both huffing and puffing to dismantle thy flaxen fortress!"

Whereupon the wolf did billow forth an exhale of gale force which quickly rendered straw hovel to drags and dross, and carried aloft piglet and shattered quarters both.

Exposed now to claw and fang, first piglet made haste, wolf in pursuit, to the stick-festooned sanctum of peccary secondary.

"Well this knots my knickers," cried the second piglet. "Nowhere among those actions most considerate and amenable is the marshaling of feral wolf TO MY DOORSTEP!"

"Apologies," declared piglet one. "The beast's baneful breath indeed purged me of home and sound judgment alike!"

The mighty maelstrom of the wolf's torrential exhale splintered the second swine's shack and cut short his scolding simultaneously.

"Lo and behold," squealed Two, "Stand we now amid wooden wreckage, tremulous and vulnerable, with nary a strategy for eschewing the canine devourer looming in deadly proximity!"

"Strategy?" cried one.

"While 'tis noble to contemplate tactical particularities, pressed as we are with time restraints forbidding detailed strategical conversations, I would urge WE RUN!"

Whether by their own fleet-footed competence or the wolf's windless attitude, the bantam porkers arrived at their ultimate kindred neighbor's inexpugnable brick ingress unscathed. Upon the third pig's door with urgent hooves they pounded calling out, "Unbar this entrance and with haste we beseech thee!"

 less robust than his impromptu visitors, replied, "Say what?"

"Seek we sanctuary," they implored on the verge of hysteria, "lest we fall forthwith to the ravenous appetency of yonder approaching carnivore!"

Still confounded by their importunate words, pig three did render ajar his portal, whereupon One and Two spilled through and collapsed beyond the threshold enervated.

“So, you just wanted to come in? You could have said that."

“Pray thee pigs, grant me entrance!”

“The wolf!” cried One and Two.

“Wolf?” said Three. “What’cha suppose he wants?”

“He seeks to gain purchase within! Indeed, he would occupy this very alcove were he but afforded the most meager of opportunities!”

“…Right… I’m just gonna ask him what he wants.”

“Under no circumstances!” screamed Two. “There is naught to be gained accosting external opponent, save our own immediate demise!”

“WHAT DID YOU SAY ABOUT MY MAMA?”

House and occupants were again engulfed by a malevolent blast of wolfish wind. The foundation shook. The frame rattled. And lo, to the astonished eyes of the piglets and encroaching scoundrel alike, stood the third pig’s lodging undaunted.

Aghast and befuddled, Two queried of Three, “How does against such relentless and torrential onslaught this domicile endure?”

Pig Three, puffed-out chest, tapped a hoof to the hearth and responded, “It’s American-made.”

.*The First closes the book, and looks to Kevin, who is now asleep.*

First: *whispers* Good night, Kevin...

.*The First gets up off the bed, and walks out of the room.* 