Board Thread:Roleplaying Board/@comment-21447002-20150314211041/@comment-26369190-20150315000012

"Oh? Here. (Modern Major General - https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=zSGWoXDFM64)


 * "I am the very model of a modern Major-General,
 * I've information vegetable, animal, and mineral,
 * I know the kings of England, and I quote the fights historical
 * From Marathon to Waterloo, in order categorical;a
 * I'm very well acquainted, too, with matters mathematical,
 * I understand equations, both the simple and quadratical,
 * About binomial theorem I'm teeming with a lot o' news, (bothered for a rhyme)
 * With many cheerful facts about the square of the hypotenuse.
 * I'm very good at integral and differential calculus;
 * I know the scientific names of beings animalculous:
 * In short, in matters vegetable, animal, and mineral,
 * I am the very model of a modern Major-General. I

1880 poster:know our mythic history, King Arthur's and Sir Caradoc's;
 * I answer hard acrostics, I've a pretty taste for paradox,
 * I quote in elegiacs all the crimes of Heliogabalus,
 * In conics I can floor peculiarities parabolous;
 * I can tell undoubted Raphaels from Gerard Dows and Zoffanies,
 * I know the croaking chorus from The Frogs of Aristophanes!
 * Then I can hum a fugue of which I've heard the music's din afore, (bothered for a rhyme)b
 * And whistle all the airs from that infernal nonsense Pinafore.
 * Then I can write a washing bill in Babylonic cuneiform,
 * And tell you ev'ry detail of Caractacus's uniform:c
 * In short, in matters vegetable, animal, and mineral,
 * I am the very model of a modern Major-General.
 * In fact, when I know what is meant by "mamelon" and "ravelin",
 * When I can tell at sight a Mauser rifle from a javelin,d
 * When such affairs as sorties and surprises I'm more wary at,
 * And when I know precisely what is meant by "commissariat",
 * When I have learnt what progress has been made in modern gunnery,
 * When I know more of tactics than a novice in a nunnery –
 * In short, when I've a smattering of elemental strategy – (bothered for a rhyme)
 * You'll say a better Major-General has never sat a gee.e
 * For my military knowledge, though I'm plucky and adventury,
 * Has only been brought down to the beginning of the century;
 * But still, in matters Animal, Mineral, and Vegetable,
 * I am the very model of a modern major general."